Food and Us!!!

My friends from India have a hard time negotiating their way through a menu in most of the restaurants in Seoul. The most difficult part is trying to explain to the waiter/waitress on the banned ingredients. I somehow derive this perverse pleasure of watching the proceedings. The word perverse may offend some of you; but over the years my genuine awe has now turned into this vicarious pleasure.

I remember way back when I was working in Hyderabad (a South Indian City), a colleague of mine exclaimed on my consumption of fish almost daily. Now I am a Bengali (hail from Bengal, Eastern India) and after all, fish is on our blood. I retorted by saying that, the same way you can’t do without having yoghurt with rice at every meal accompanied by the slurping sound. That was the end of discussion and later I got addicted to yoghurt rice with pickles too.

Once in Tokyo, we were at the Office Cafeteria during lunch and this colleague of ours came and sat down in front of us with a couple of eggs. Like normal he tapped the eggs on the table to peel the shell and instead what came out was the gooey stuff. It was a royal mess all over and he was thoroughly embarrassed. He was unaware of the fact that they were fresh eggs!!

Another day, we had tempura being served. A colleague of mine picked up some and commented on the toughness of the stuff inside the fried batter. She almost choked to death, when I casually asked her about her liking for octopus!! The same lady one day brought some cooked fish for lunch. I took one piece gratuitously and could not proceed further when I realized that the scales were intact and the fish was not cooked. I can digest Sushi where fresh fish is used, but not a fish curry with bonus scales.

Here we have convinced some vegetarian colleagues that if there’s one dish that they could try out in restaurants it could be the Bibimbaap (baap meaning rice). As some of you would know it’s served in bowl where you mix rice, some vegetables, a fried egg, some tomato based hot chilly paste and some herbs. You mix them up and consume.

Now the complications start when we remember our religious and social obligations. For example, I have these friends who happily eat non-vegetarian out at restaurants but at home it would be a different story. There are gradations in the items that could classify as veg or Non-Veg. I have a simpler definition for myself and shall come to that later. Some consider garlic and onions as “Not Veg” for some weird reason. Like they are underground items. Potatoes however pass the test and there are no reasons for the same. In Kolkata, I had these Marwari friends who would happily leave their religion at home and consume beef Rolls with me at Nizams.

Food and fasting are a favourite pastime for Indians. Some fast on Tuesdays, some on Saturdays and some on both. Some fast on Friday too. I consider fasting on Friday and Saturday anti-social, since you can’t call friends home and offer them nothing and nor can you visit others and put them in an awkward situation. Now this fasting is also a matter of degree and I someday would like to have a discussion with God on what exactly did he prescribe for the good of the Hindus. Fasting means: abstaining from food of any kind. For some, fasting means nothing at all including water. For some, they have water and these days beverages like tea or coffee too. For some fasting would allow them to consume yoghurt, fruits, juice, etc. On questioning, they explain that fasting means abstaining from Complex Carbohydrates like Rice or Wheat. God can give our nutritionists a run for their money in theories and concepts. For me, I fast everyday. My fasting starts as soon as I end breakfast and then continues till lunch. I am quite pleased this way and not sure why the Almighty won’t be too!!

I started off with ordering in restaurants and I think drifted away to all sorts of directions. Coming back to the same, it’s interesting to watch how my friends try to change the menu-listed dish to something else. Oh, this happens everywhere and not just here.

For example, say you have ordered a Chinese Sweet Corn Soup and as soon as it is served my friend will put in four teaspoons of extra soy sauce, two spoons of chilly vinegar, some pepper and some salt. He has a rule that all the extras on the table “must” be added to the dish served. The chef in the meantime is perhaps trying to redefine the recipe (these are the days of customer delight you see) or perhaps being already transported to the nearest ICU due to a cardiac attack!!

Or say, on the menu you have Mixed Fried Rice and my friend starts off. No pork and meat please. What about chicken and egg? Lets avoid that. Oh I forgot, no peas please and no carrots too. By the way, no mushrooms either. I am now absolutely bewildered, embarassed and now having cramps in my brain.

Spicy and Hotness is one confusing item in the agenda for me. If less spicy means less chillies, then me and you are not in the same wavelength!!!!

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