I was coming back from an evening party along with some friends and on the way we started having a heated argument on letter writing protocols. Suddenly one of them looked at me and said, " Can I be frank with you?" There are other occasions when somebody would say, "Please don't mind, but when blah, blah, blah." Or in a situation a friend would look you in the eye and exclaim, " Don't take it seriously, but I wanted to let you know that, etc, etc, etc."
Now, I don't know about you, but whenever I hear such a comment volleyed towards me, my mind is now all set to listen to that comment with extra special focus, intent and attention. It would also be a mistruth, if I inform you that such comments would not be taken seriously by me. On the contrary, isn't it normal to behave the way I do?
I mean, as soon you start to speak with that comment thrown in, I start expecting something bad about me and between you and me, it would have been better if you had shown some self-resistance and tried not to be rude. If you think that by adding such preludes you are softening the attack, you are sadly mistaken. You have actually decided to attack, and now this is a fore warning of what's coming. So like it or not, I am expected to lump it.
When you come near me and whisper in my ears to give me feedback without asking me to take it seriously, why would you inform me not to be serious the first place? So actually you were just waiting for an opportunity and now throwing a sugar coated dart at me with full intent. Over and above you are expecting me, to behave normally after I receive such unwanted negative feedback and perhaps hug you for the act.
I am sorry, I understand the language differently and "Let me be frank with you. You suck!"
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